i was completely fine all through out the day. it was during sunset when i felt something dark n silent creeping into me...felt uneasy. all work done n thinking what to do next i lazily walked up-to the living room window to see the world outside home; but my mind kept on thinking curiously about the creepy thing which entered me few minutes ago.......why am i feeling so ??....(sigh) finding that this process was having no useful effect, i forced myself to do some of the really-doesn't-matters-much kinds of work.
i thought i had outdone it but no...it was there inside. after dinner i went out to linger in the lawn. seeing the brightly lit moon my lips parted into a smile. it was a pretty site. clear sky with a fully lit moon always is. it was then while walking thoughtlessly in the lawn that i realized that i was feeling LONELY....yes it was the loneliness which had taken hold of me. i tried to deny but there i was feeling helplessly l-o-n-e-l-y...
i usually don't give up to these kind of feelings, even if all things fail i call upon my ROCK. my heart would sing out a praise and within minutes the gloomy loneliness would go away BUT today dunno why i was seeing what this could really do to me......i felt loneliness like a disease, it was hurting and was making me feel hopeless empty and s-i-c-k. i felt as if a big crab clutching my heart with its claws. the more i was giving in to it the more hurting it becomes.....my god! loneliness HURTS...yes it does...my thoughts went to the past, was i badly missing someone?? something ?? **everything jammed** i was reminded of my past traits ## things which i did but then i had left for my own good ## and there was an urge of picking it up again...heard something telling inside me " try it...just once and this loneliness will go".......a battle-cry!
silence lingered on the air.
NO.....i wont give in i said....my soul called unto the Rock, i remembered the verse
i thought i had outdone it but no...it was there inside. after dinner i went out to linger in the lawn. seeing the brightly lit moon my lips parted into a smile. it was a pretty site. clear sky with a fully lit moon always is. it was then while walking thoughtlessly in the lawn that i realized that i was feeling LONELY....yes it was the loneliness which had taken hold of me. i tried to deny but there i was feeling helplessly l-o-n-e-l-y...
i usually don't give up to these kind of feelings, even if all things fail i call upon my ROCK. my heart would sing out a praise and within minutes the gloomy loneliness would go away BUT today dunno why i was seeing what this could really do to me......i felt loneliness like a disease, it was hurting and was making me feel hopeless empty and s-i-c-k. i felt as if a big crab clutching my heart with its claws. the more i was giving in to it the more hurting it becomes.....my god! loneliness HURTS...yes it does...my thoughts went to the past, was i badly missing someone?? something ?? **everything jammed** i was reminded of my past traits ## things which i did but then i had left for my own good ## and there was an urge of picking it up again...heard something telling inside me " try it...just once and this loneliness will go".......a battle-cry!
silence lingered on the air.
NO.....i wont give in i said....my soul called unto the Rock, i remembered the verse
" From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I " (PS 61:2)
oh what a comfort it was !! felt peace, felt hope
i came back to my senses..felt better...
i felt the chillness of the air on my skin and decided to turn in for the night.
before heading to bed i made sure to jot it down here so that it will remind me of the day's battle-cry ### a battle which i WON through my ROCK !! thank you Lord!!
** sending out a prayer from my heart for all those who are feeling hopelessly helplessly L-o-n-e-l-y tonight**
goodnight!!
No comments:
Post a Comment